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EZ így helyes? (ANGOL)

Figyelt kérdés

Egy fogalmazást kellett írni a kötelező angol könyvről, viszont elég sokat felejtettem angolból ezért nem igazán tudom helyes-e ez így.


One day John Rodd was ridding home from school, across the wild hills of Exmoor.He had to pass Doone valley, where the Doone family lived, which is a big family with full of robbers and murderers. When he arrived home he heard sad news about his father.Tha father had been killed by the Doones, so John had a good reason to hate them. In1675's Valentine's Day his life was changed baceuse that was the day he first met with Lorna. After 7 years he went back to the valley to see the girl. John fell in love with her, and then they met again and again. But one day Lorna wasn't there and neither after. So he decided to find her at night. When John found her Lorna was in a prison until her grandfather ha died. Then John ran away with her and took her to his farm. When the Doones found out where was Lorna they came and tried to destroy the village. But the Doones' attackt had been defeated. After a week Jeremy,, he was one of his oldest friend told him, that Lorna wasn't Doone because she from a big grand family in England. So she had to moved to England. Saddenly the king died and there were a lot of rebels and Tom Faggus was join them. John had to bring him back to the farm. After this he went to London to his girlfriend.Meawhile the Doones were robbing in Exmoor.So the people decided to destroy the Doones. It was a long, violence battle but all Doones had defeated exept Carve so Lorna was fee. She moved to John's farm and as soon as they could they married. But on the wedding suddenly she was shoted by Carver. John was getting really angry, and he killed that Doone. Some weeks later Lorna had been better and they lived happily ever after.



2012. szept. 3. 19:10
 1/1 anonim ***** válasza:

Nagyjából jó, itt van pár dolog, ami szerintem (!) nem jó: :)


On Valentine's Day 1675 his life (nem kell was) changed bacause that was the day he first met (nem kell with) Lorna.


When John found her Lorna was in a prison since her grandfather had died. (Bár nekem úgy szimpatikusabb lenne, hogy: when Jon found her Lorna had been in prison since her grandfather died. De ebben nem vagyok biztos.)


When the Doones found out where Lorna was... (tehát egyenes szórenddel)


But the Doones' attackt had been defeated. - én itt nem értem, hogy miért past perfect... szerintem egyszerű múlt.


he was one of his oldest friendS...


Lorna wasn't Doone because she WAS from a big grand family


So she had to movE to England.


Suddenly (bár ez gondolom csak elírás).


Tom Faggus joined them.


...they got married.


she was shot


én így írnám: Some weeks later Lorna became/was getting/got better...

2012. szept. 3. 19:35
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