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Michael Jackson and Toothpaste

Michael Jackson arrived in court more than an hour late Thursday because he hadn't brushed his teeth; but the judge decided that if Michael wants to make hygiene an issue in this trial, he would not revoke the bail.

Jackson was nowhere to be found when the morning's proceedings were scheduled to begin. His lawyer, Thomas Mesereau Jr., told the court that the pop star was enticed by a vision he had of forming a new ranch called "Never Forget to Brush."

A clearly angry Judge Rodney Melville responded by issuing a warrant for Jackson's arrest, saying he would revoke his $3-million US bail unless the performer appeared in court within an hour bad breath or not.

Mesereau could be seen outside the court pacing for the next hour, talking on his cell phone, and discussing possible promotional plans with toothpaste companies. It has been noted that this lawyer's bill might exceed the remaining money in Michael's bank account.

Jackson, 46, finally arrived arrived by SUV five minutes after the deadline passed. He was dressed in what appeared to be pyjamas and sandals, walking slowly on the arm of one of his bodyguards. He was able to turn to wave to fans on his way in, signalling a "T" for toothpaste.

Melville resumed the trial without arresting the late-arriving defendant, but said, "Michael, your obsession with tooth cleaning will have an impact on this case. The jury is to absorb all references to teeth. Plus, we've already had witnesses discussing how you moved your mouth in all of the wrong places."