Mi a véleményetek a versemről (angol)?

Tudom, nagyon béna, de kíváncsi vagyok, mit gondoltok róla. A nyelvtani hibákat, és azt hogy mit kéne rajta változtatni kérlek írjátok meg!

My dreamworld

Sometimes I feel I’m living in another world as the other people.

When I want to fly from the highest steeple,

They can’t understand me, of course,

When I want to go on the longest way, and see worse,

I know, they can’t see, what I do.

Because sometimes I want to know the secret of death too.

When I tell them about my dreams

They just laugh on me,

So I’m scared to talk about my world,

Because I always know, they won’t see.

But sometimes I feel, I’m wearing a mask,

And I try to be, what they want to see,

But then I musn’t be suprised,

When they won’t know ME.

I’ve got friends but with them I’m not really me,

But these times I feel myself to really happy,

I don’t know why, I love the one, who I can be,

And sometimes I feel, she is really me,

Because I love to be that girl, I don’t know the reason why,

But everytime I must see

That girl kills my real soul inside.