Valaki Jó angolos Ki tudná javítani a lenti fogalmazásom?

Szóval szerintem kezdhetnéd így: Once upon a time lived four little rabbits:Flopsy,Mopsy,Cotton-tail and Peter.They lived with theirs mother in a sand bank(?)under a big pines root.One morning,their mother said that:-My sons,I will going to buy food.You may go to the meadow,but mustn't go to Mr. McGregor's garden.

Then ,their mother took her basket and her umbrella in order that she went through the forest, to the baker,because she wanted to buy some bread and currant buns (?).

Flopsy ,Mopsy and Cotton-tail were good little rabbits,so they went in the path to gather blackberries.

Peter was more naughty than his brother,so he crept under the gate and went directly to Mr.McGregor’s garden.He ate some lettuces and beans ,then he ate it his favourite food:radishes.At that time he felt bad,but he want some parsley.There was a small problem,he met with Mr.McGregor.He began to run,but Mr.McGregor followed him.

Peter was terribly scared and he ran across the garden,because he forgot the way back to the gate.

He lost his shoes among the plants.He escaped from Mr.McGregor but he ran into a goosbery net.He almost almost gaved up,but fortunately,some friendly sparrow helped him.He escaped again,but Mr.McGregor came with a sieve.Peter climbed (out)in time,and leaving his jacket behind him.He ran into a tool shed,that can hided him ,but in this tool shed was too much water ,so Peter was trembled.

Mr.McGregor was sure that Peter was somewhere in the tool-shed and he began turned them over.

(Peter sneezed ’Kertyschoo’ and Mr.McGregor was after him into time.)

But Peter jumped through a small window.The window was too small for Mr.McGregor so he went back to his work.

Wandering,Peter met with a small mouse.The mouse couldn’t speak with Peter,because in his mouth was lots of peas and beans..Peter was very aqueous and unhappy.He came to a pond where was a cat but Peter eschewed it.Cast a look to the landscape and suddenly he noticed the gate.

He began to run ,but Mr.McGregor saw Peter and he began to run after Peter.Peter doesn't care.He slipped under the gate and he ran home.His mother was very angry and worried,but not quarreled with Peter.

She gave some tea and put Peter to his bed and said good night to her little,curious and adventurous son!

THE END

:DD,ne haragudj,kicsit későre lett kész,de remélem nagyjából helyes,ha valamit nem értesz,kérdezz és megpróbálom megmagyarázni :D. ?-et oda raktam ,ahol nem értettem,sehogy sem,mit akartál írni:))

Amúgy szerintem jó fogalmazás volt a tied,csak a befejezés kicsit lehetett volna részletesebb,de mivel teljesen nem ismerem ezt a ,,mesét,,,én sem tudtam jobbat írni :DD