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Edit: I have now been officially diagnosed with ASPD and NPD as well as moderate Alocohol Use Disorder.

I have not been officially diagnosed and am currently considering if I should even be thinking about being diagnosed, however, I fit every single last one of the criteria of the DSM-IV and the revised definition of the DSM-V. Moreover, I have self scored a 32 on the PCL-R (30 is the cutoff line) for psychopathy (which is the standard test) as well as my family scoring me with an average of 38 and the lowest possible score of all people's responses taken, still scoring a 30. I believe it's possible i qualify for psychopathy but there is absolutely no doubt that I have ASPD.

To answer as briefly, yet thoroughly, as possible, it sucks and is awesome at the same time. Life is great if you can learn to control yourself and refrain from doing things that have a severe punishment (or at least make sure you have a high likelihood of not being caught).

- Your self-esteem is through the roof. It's a brick wall reinforced by steel beams and a concrete wall behind it. Backed by a dump trucks filled with lead. With that self-esteem comes confidence out of this world. Even on things that I shouldn't be sure of, I just seem to know what to do or what is needed. I love it. Also, that confidence is probably why so many people with ASPD or Psychopathy are considered to be charming and have charisma. It's just the best in every sense of the word. It's one of the few things where, when I read the diagnoses criteria for ASPD and psychopathy being an inflated and grandiose sense of self," I laugh because they think it's inflated but perhaps they should look at people outside of the prison system for once.

- It's nearly impossible to get your feelings hurt (unless it's one of the very, very select few whom you actually care about who hurts you... and even then it doesn't last long).

- Logic (at least in my case) is what rules your decision making so emotions don't screw everything up when it comes to decisions that need to be made under pressure.

-I experience essentially no anxiety, and if I do, it's similar to a fly landing on you. It is there and annoying but goes away almost immediately.

- Because you don't really care about other people and their feelings, it makes it very easy for you to do many things that would otherwise be an obstacle to getting what you want.

I have read a lot about it being a natural thing that many people with ASPD being able to manipulate and read others. It is definitely true in my case and I am, in fact, writing a book on exactly that (titled: Theories, Concepts, Strategies, and Tactics in Persuasion and Manipulation). It is actually the reason I started looking into psychopathy. I have a bachelors in psychology and have been using as much of my knowledge in psychology as possible to explain why and how those strategies work. While doing research on cold empathy, I found the PCL-R and that was it. I can tell you that more times than I can count, I've been the one to come out on top of an argument, deal, or some other instance because it didn't bother me to take advantage of someone, particularly because I can read small changes in facial expressions and differences in mannerisms.

- Sex. Yes please. Sex isn't something I even think about refraining from. The more the better. Personality doesn't matter. It's just a fun thing to do and hopefully the person you're doing it with is good. Even if they aren't, it's still fun. It is also what really screws up your thought process. I have a very difficult time not making it one of my top priorities every day (interested ladies? message me!).

- I have read that the statement about psychopaths being smart is wrong and I an inclined to agree. There are too many psychopaths in prison for that to be true. However, I would definitely like to revisit that statement when some genius in the research field finally figures out that research needs to be based on the GENERAL populace and not the prison system (it called sampling error for a reason morons).

If you can't tell, that might a struck a chord with me which leads me to some of the cons:

- I get annoyed really easily. I rarely get angry (like rage) but I can get pissed pretty quickly. Obviously, it makes it difficult to deal with certain situations where you are trying to give off the impression that you are a great, calm, and nice person. Particularly when that someone is the person you are trying to impress.

- Boredom. Holy crap, it sucks. I'm already bored writing this answer but I have to waste another fifteen minutes so might as well finish it. I have a ton of hobbies. I woodwork, freedive, rock climb, white water kayak, surf, snowboard, backpack, build guitars, play guitar, golf, pool, chess, and read. I drink whenever i get a chance (socially though, I don't like to drink just to drink thankfully).

- In my case, and I'm sure many others, you will end up screwing up every relationship you're in, regardless of how much you try. I had the perfect woman who accepted my for everything about me and I cheated on her because I couldn't stop wanting other women.

- You will, for some reason, always want to touch the stove and get your hands in the cookie jar. I can't tell you (and I won't) how many illegal things I've done in my life. You just want to do anything you're not supposed to do. For me, it's doing it and not getting caught. I do like the feeling but as I've gotten older, I've been able to get my head out of my ass for the most part.

- People who know you have ASPD (and definitely if you are a psychopath) will look at you like you're some robot who is too stupid to understand what emotions are and that apparently you can't grasp that doing bad things gets you into trouble (yes, Dr. Robert Hare, you're a moron still). Absolutely wrong. At least in my case, I have no problem understanding what sadness is and how doing bad things can get me into trouble with results that I will not like, I just don't care. BIG difference between that and not understanding. Particularly when it comes to hurting others. It's not that I can't understand that I hurt someone, it's just I don't care because it really doesn't affect me.

This list could probably go on all day but as you can see, there are plenty of reasons to not like it. However, the few that I listed that make it pretty awesome are definitely nice. In fact, I would even say that they make all the negatives worth it. You're not afraid to take risks, reading people is almost like a superpower that gets you soooo far ahead of everyone else that you almost would feel bad if you actually gave a crap about them to begin with.

Lastly, I want to point out that anyone who puts all psychopaths and people with ASPD in to commonalities and definite characteristics are plain ignorant. Psychopathy and ASPD are on a scale. There are people who exhibit more factor 1 traits and others that are more along factor 2 (if you're not familiar with it, it takes two seconds to google what I'm talking about). Just like the rest of humanity, psychopaths are people too, which means they are all different. Don't think that all psychopaths have exactly this trait or that characteristic. More than likely, they do, but it will not be to the same extent as another one if they were standing side by side. Case in point, there are plenty of us who are not in prison and haven't murdered anyone... yet. Yes, that was a joke, though probably only the people who have it are laughing.

Well, I've managed to waste the fifteen minutes. I'm done.

Itt egy másik:

It feels normal, because you’ve been this way for so long (if not, your entire life) and you’re used to it.

Personality disorders are typically ego-syntonic, meaning they don’t cause the person much distress, if any at all. Antisocial is probably one of the most ego-syntonic disorders, and some might see their callousness and their attitude as more of an advantage.

You might start thinking everyone else is crazy and not you. Your level-headedness, uncaringness, and lack of compassion keeps you from being clouded by strong emotions and from being manipulated. When you see other people acting out due to these reasons, you just don’t see how they could have it better than you.

As for the feeling of getting the label itself, it doesn’t feel like much. I guess it’s interesting or insightful, but to me, it’s just three words to describe a collection of traits. Not really much feeling towards it.

Liking attention and entitlement.

Feel emotions superficially. (Love, excitement, sadness, fear, etc.), and feels nothing when seeing others hurt (absence of empathy)

When alone, not having idea who you are anymore because there are too many personas that you use to manipulate others.

Because of point no. 3, meeting people that you manipulated in different ways hurts your brain. For example, meeting an old friend while also meeting a new friend. Like, both of them exists in the same room. But your brain splits because on one part, you want to manipulate the old friend but there is also the new friend.

Never feeling satisfied.

These are just how I feel. There are a lot of other things too but I'm not willing to tell them.