Kezdőoldal » Közoktatás, tanfolyamok » Nyelvtanulás » Angol fogalmazás javítása?

Angol fogalmazás javítása?

Figyelt kérdés

Helyes az alábbi fogalmazás? Jó a fogalmazás felépítése?


The advantages and disadvantages of fame

In childhood everybody wants to famous, but the fame has many advantages and disadvantages. (+ide kellene még egy mondat bevezetésnek, nem tudok mit írni)

Firstly, famous people earn a lot of money. Nowadays famous actors, sport stars and singers get a horribly payment. Moreover they can earn a fortune by advertising, becouse big companies will sell easier their products with the facec of a famous people. Secondly, when somebody is well-known, than he has a lot of fans. These fans are following the celebrity's life, and they want to know everything about him.

On the other hand, the fame has many disadvantages as well: famous people lose their privacy. The mass media and the paparazzi are following their life step by step. After a few years of the stressful life (caused by the paparazzi and by the pressure on them) many of them will be depressed, and then they start drinking and using drugs. Furthermore, the stressful life (with alcohol and with drugs) is not good for their health, many famous person died young. Although they enjoy their fan's love, they should fear from their crazy fans (for example John Lenon was shot by his own fan).

(+kellene még egy befejezés, csak nem tudom, hogy mit írjak)



2012. nov. 26. 17:18
 1/2 anonim ***** válasza:
0%

The advantages and disadvantages of fame

In childhood everybody wants ** be ** to famous, but the fame has many advantages and disadvantages. (+ide kellene még egy mondat bevezetésnek, nem tudok mit írni) ** akkor írj **

Firstly, famous people earn a lot of money. Nowadays famous actors, sport stars and singers get a horribly ** a horribly hatérozószó, de egyébként sem azt jelentené amit mondani akarsz ** payment ** a payment mást jelent, wage, salaray jelentené, amit szeretnél, de talán jobb, ha az egészet átfogalmazod, pl. they are paid extraordinaliy well, vagy ilyesmi ***. Moreover ** vessző ** they can earn a fortune by advertising ** mármint nem ők hírdetnek, inkább from advertisements **, becouse big companies will sell easier ** ez nagyon nincs jó helyen ** their products with the facec ** faces** of a ** nincs 'a' ** famous people. Secondly, ** ha ez a második bekezdés, akkor jelezd egy enterrel is ** when somebody is well-known, than ** nem kell than ** he ** or she ** has a lot of fans. These fans are following ** inkább simple present ** the celebrity's life, and they want to know everything about him ** or her **.

On the other hand, the **nincs 'the' ** fame has many disadvantages as well: famous people lose their privacy. The mass media and the paparazzi are following ** itt is simple present ** their life step by step ** nem világos, ezzel mit fejezel ki **. After a few years of the ** nem kell 'the' ** stressful life (caused by the paparazzi and by the pressure on them ** nem világos, hogy a 'them' kire utal, de talán nem is kell az 'on them' **) many of them ** tisztázni kéne, kire utal ** will be ** inkább become ** depressed, and then they start drinking and using drugs. Furthermore, the ** nem kell 'the' ** stressful life (with alcohol and with drugs) is not good for their health, many famous person died young. Although they enjoy their fan's love, they should fear from their crazy fans (for example ** vessző ** John Lenon ** Lennon ** was shot by his own fan).

(+kellene még egy befejezés, csak nem tudom, hogy mit írjak) ** foglald össze egy mondatban az eddigieket: "bár van jó... mégis ... **

2012. nov. 26. 17:36
Hasznos számodra ez a válasz?
 2/2 anonim ***** válasza:
48%

When child, we all want to be famous, alas, fame has many advantages and disadvantages. Now, I am going to give a short account of them.

First, famous people earn a lot of money. Nowadays, famous actors, sport stars and singers make loads of bucks. Moreover, they can earn a fortune by advertising, because large companies sell their products easier along with famous persons' faces. Second, when someone is wide-known, he or she has a lot of fans. They are follow along with a celebrity's life, and they want to know everything about him or her.

On the other hand, fame has many disadvantages as well. Most of all, famous people lose their privacy. The mass media and the Paparazzi effect go along with their life step by step, so to say. After a few years period of a life squeezed with tress (caused by the Paparazzi effect and by the pressure born on them) many are depressed, and then, they start boozing or drug abusing. Furthermore, stressful life (with alcohol and drugs) is bad for their health as well. In these lines, many famous persons died young. Although they enjoy the love of their supporters, they should be wary of their chump fans, unlike John Lennon did, who ultimately was shot by a previously most dedicated fan of his).

2012. nov. 27. 13:50
Hasznos számodra ez a válasz?

Kapcsolódó kérdések:




Minden jog fenntartva © 2024, www.gyakorikerdesek.hu
GYIK | Szabályzat | Jogi nyilatkozat | Adatvédelem | Cookie beállítások | WebMinute Kft. | Facebook | Kapcsolat: info(kukac)gyakorikerdesek.hu

A weboldalon megjelenő anyagok nem minősülnek szerkesztői tartalomnak, előzetes ellenőrzésen nem esnek át, az üzemeltető véleményét nem tükrözik.
Ha kifogással szeretne élni valamely tartalommal kapcsolatban, kérjük jelezze e-mailes elérhetőségünkön!