Helyes ez az angol levél? Minden hibám érdekel.

Dear Ms Smith,

I would like to apply for the position of full-time chef, which I saw advertised in the Új Néplap.

I am twenty-eight years old. I have 10 GCSEs including English and French. I have got an advanced level examination in French and English. I have got work experience. I worked in a famous and busy French restaurant for 5 years, and I worked in a busy inn for 2 years. I would enjoy working with the cooks. I am hard-working, reliable, efficient, creative and energetic. I think I am suitable for the post.

I hope you will consider me for the position. I am able

to attend an interview at any time.

Apróbb hibák voltak benne, kijavítottam.

(egy angoltanár)

Szia.

Pár tanács, amit adhatok:

-> A legszembetűnőbb dolog nekem az, h ez sántít: I was saw advertised... Ilyen nincs - legalábbis én nem hallottam róla. Bár nem anglisztikára járok. Én úgy kezdeném, hogy I am writing with regard to your advertisement published in the Új Néplap. I would like to apply for the job...

Vagy ha ez nem tetszik, lehet úgy is kezdeni, h. I am writing to apply for the position of full-time chef as advertised in the Új Néplap.

->A magadról írottak: hard-working, reliable... túl hosszú a felsorolás. Tegyél bele olyat, hogy My co-workers said that I ... My employer was very satisfied with me... regular customers commented on what a nice people I was... Ne csak te áradozz magadról, ha mások mondják, hihetőbb. :)

-> A work experience-nél inkább úgy mondanám, hogy I have some work experience. (szebben hangzik)

-> A végéről hiányzik a lezárás: I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, aláírás.