Egy ilyen levél szerintetek elég lesz emeltszintu angolon?

Dear Mr. Aspinall,

I am writing to you regarding my positive experiences AT THE Putney High School’s Exchange Student Program.

My name is Armand Horváth, I am a 19 years old student from Hungary. I have spent 9 months at Putney High School as an exchange student.

FIRSTLY, First of all, I would like to thank you for the opportunity of being part of THE Putney community. I enjoyed every moment SPENT there, and one day I would like to RETURN to London AGAIN.

My English LANGUAGE DJILLS WERR AVERAGE AT THE BEST was not the best when I moved to England, however it has improved CONSIDERABLY a lot. Now I can easily start conversations AND COMMUNICATE with other foreign students and I no longer need to use translator programs in shops.

I have made a lot of friends with other students, whom I am still in contact after my departure. I was able to discover London and a new culture, EXPLORE A NEW CUISINE try new foods and visit popular TOURIST places like Big Ben or the Stamford Bridge Stadium.

My only UNEXPECTED ISSUE was the condition of the rooms,

(Mik voltak ezek??)

otherwise I was very satisfied with the NINE 9 months I spent AT your school.

Yours sincerely,

Armand Horváth.

I am a 19 years old exchange student

Helyesen: I am a 19-year-old exchange student

to IMPROVE boost my English LANGUAGE skills

Helyesen: to IMPROVE my English LANGUAGE skills

IN A NATIVE SPEAKING COUNTRY

Helyesen: IN AN ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRY

"AS AN ADDITION TO MY SCHOOL CLASSES outside of the school"

Elég zavaró, hogy ez a valaki úgy javította, hogy az eredeti változatot is benne hagyta...

"Firstly, the teachers are not native English LANGUAGE speakers, we were struggling to understand their accentS."

Kötőszó is kell bele, kevés a vessző:

Firstly, the teachers are not native English LANGUAGE speakers, so we were struggling to understand their accentS.

"Secondly, the room we were sitting was cold,THE ROOM THAT WAS ALLOCATED FOR OUR USE WAS COLD, the teachers did not allow us to turn the heating on."

Ebbe is kell kötőszó:

Secondly, the room that was allocated for our use was cold and the teachers did not allow us to turn the heating on.

"According to them REASON GIVEN WAS THE LANGUAGE SCHOOL CAN NOT AFFORD TO PROVIDE ADEQUATE HEATING FOR THEIR STUDENTS the language school can not afford it, due to high energy prices."

Helyesen:

REASON GIVEN WAS THE LANGUAGE SCHOOL CANNOT (egy szó!, de még inkább COULD NOT, hiszen múlt idővel indult a mondat) AFFORD TO PROVIDE ADEQUATE HEATING FOR THEIR STUDENTS due to high energy prices.

"the closed form, cannot, is much more common"

Pont ezért érdemes azt használni.