Angol tanácsadás fogyokúrásnak?

Ez angolórára kell? Kicsit átírtam a tiéd:

First of all, change your diet. Everyone needs a good diet in order to get a healthy weight. Change your eating habits as well. Make sure, your diet is well-balanced and rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains, healthy fats, nuts and white meat. You should drink a lot of water, smoothie or juice. You shouldn't drink alcohol or sparkly water. Try to avoid fast food. In addition, I think you should take up cardio exercises and may be you should pick up jogging as a new hobby.