Aki jó angolból az átnézné a fogalmazásom?
Angol érettségi témakör:Személyes kapcsolatok
My name is Gabriella Y. My friends just call me: Gabi, Gabica, Gabcus. I’m 18 years old. I live in Martfu. I live with my parents and my sister. I go to a high school in Martfu. I’m a bit chubby and I’m short. I have got brown eyes. I have got long brown hair. I’m a bit dreamer but i’m very active. In my free time: I do karate, I play with my dog. I like deal with technikal stuffs and I like natural science.
I’m become a small family, I just have got a sister and I haven’t got any brother. My sister studies in a university. My mom is a chesmit. My dad is a engineer.
In the everday life: I don’t really like doing the washing up and the washing, ironing and sweeping the floor. Although I hate dusting the furniture, hoovering or cleaning the windows I have to do it sometimes. There is always a lot to do, so I help my mother with watering the flowers, tiding up, cleaning up the mess and hanging out the washing. Sharing the housework is never easy, but in my family everybody has to do something and everybody is responsible for her own room. I like to keep my place clean and tidy, that’s why I always put my things back on the self and I have very well organized drawers. I usually do the tiding up on Saturday or Sunday morning, because I have time then.
I want to working with the IT. I’ld love to go a university. When I’m ending with the university I’ll have to find a workplace where I can strat the work. Some years later I'ld like a family with 2 or 3 children.
válasza:Nem vagyok angol tanar es a nyelvet se sokat tanultam, inkabb csak felszedtem a kornyezetbol. Apro modositasokat ajanlanek, a javitott valtozatokat irom le:
I’m a bit of a dreamer
In my free time I do karate, and I play with my dog.
I like to deal with technikal stuffs and I like natural science.
I have a small family: I have only one sister and I haven’t got any brother.
My dad is an engineer.
tidying up (hianyzik az y, ezt ketszer is elirtad)
I always put my things back on the shelf (hianyzik a h)
I want to work with/in information technology. (az "in" az nekem jobban hangzik, de lehet hogy csak azert mert tul regota elek az USA-ban)
Szerintem az I would roviditese az, hogy I'd, mast erre nem lattam. Fogalmazasban ha lehet ne rovidits csak ha idezel valamit amit valaki mondott.
válasza:nincsenek benne nagy hibák - Martfún vagy Martfűn laksz? (attól, hogy az angolban nincs "ű", a város neve nem változik) - az angolban nem kellenek a kettőspontok
My friends just call me Gabi...
egybevonnám: I've got brown eyes and long brown hair.
gondolom, csak elírás a kis i :) I'm very active.
In my free time I do karate...
I like dealing...
?natural science? - így tanultátok, mert tudtommal a Science természettudományokat jelent tantárgyként
I live in a small family / My family is small. I've got a sister but haven't got any brothers.
(In everyday life) I don't like housework like washing up, washing...
tidying up (mivel nem néma hangzó, nem vész el az y)
I usually tidy up my room on Saturday...
I want to work in the information technology field ("with the IT" - ez magyaros)
I'd love to go to university.
After (finishing - de igazából nem kel) university I have to find a job.
...I'd like a family of my own with...
üdv
:)
válasza:huh, nagyon jó, BKRS azt is észrevette, amit én kifelejtettem, pedig olvasás közben még eszemben volt.
:)
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