Leellenőriznétek amit írtam angolul? (lent)
Van egy angol verseny, amit otthon kell előre megírni.
A téma Királyi esküvői ceremóniák (angol esküvőkről kell írni)
Minimum egy oldalasnak kell lennie, nekem sajnos még csak 3/4 oldal, úgyhogy ha lenne valami ötlet, azt beleírnám.
Eddig ilyen, mit szóltok hozzá?
The Royal wedding ceremony
The wedding of Prince Charles and Diana was a very important happening in the life of English people . It happened in 19th July 1981. As children, Lady Diana had a big dream: She wanted to be a princess, she was waiting for the prince. Her dream came true, when Charles came to her. Charles was her sister, Sarah’s suitor. Diana loved him, and she hoped, her dream will be true.
After a short courtship, the prince proposed the question. Diana said yes, of course.
The people all around the world loved the beautiful and helpful Diana. They follow her in a lot of things: Her hair, her dresses and just her style.
Every person was waiting for the wedding. They said, Charles and Diana’s wedding is the ’Wedding of the century’.
On the big day, Diana was sleeping at her new mother-in-law’s holding. She had a hot bath, then she went to have a breakfast. Diana was very excited, so she can’t eat anything. She just could drink a bit of tea.
She was thinking: Will she be a good princess? Can she do this? Does she want it? But she hadn’t got much time to thinking. Her hairdessers, beautician and stylists came to her to make a real princess of the girl.
She had got a really nice wedding dress. It was dark- of course. But ot was difficult. It was Diana’s style. The veil was 8 meters long!
Unfortunately, when Diana stepped aut of the coach, her dress was full with folds. But it was so beautiful. People said: ’Diana was as beautiful as a fairy tale. She was a perfect woman.She is so helpful, she helped to an old man to go into the chapel. ’
700 million people seed the ceremony it, it was int he tv in 58 countries!
Charles was waiting for Diana in the chapel. He was wearing a livery as a suit. Diana’s dad was crying when he was going to the altar with his favourite daughter.
The ceremony was perfect. But there were some little blooppers. Diana changed Charle’s first names, so she called him Philip. Charles winded up the ring to Diana’s left hand.. and he had forget to kiss her after the ’yes’.
Diana was the happiest woman: She became Charles’ wife, and she was the next queen of Britain. Then, the forgetted kiss taked place in the Buckhingham palace.
They inform their wedding night at Brodlands, where Queen Elizabeth II. informed it with her husband, Philip. Then came the honeymoon ont he Britannia. After that, they went to Schottland.
The pair was very happy. They lived their life in a Fairy tale.
They had born a son, called William Arthur Philip Louise. He was born in 1981. 21th June.
A plusz ötleteket nagyon megköszönném.
válasza:Szia! Bocsi, de én most a tartalomra nem nagyon fogok figyelni, meg hogy mit kellene pluszban beleírnod, de kijavítom a nyelvtani hibáidat! :)
* very important happening -> happening helyett inkább event legyen.
* and elé ne tegyél soha vesszőt!
* her dream will be true. -> valóra válik, inkább will come true.
* propose már alapból azt jelenti, hogy megkéri valaki kezét, ezért inkább: the prince proposed her
* They said, Charles and Diana’s wedding is the ’Wedding of the century’. Ezt tegyük függő beszédbe -> They said that Carles and Diana's wedding was the 'Wedding of the century'.
*Diana was sleeping at her new mother-in-law’s holding. Ezzel mit szerettél volna írni, hogy holding?:)
* She had a hot bath, then she went to have a breakfast. -> Inkább She had a hot bath, then se had a breakfast. Így értelmesebb.
*She was thinking.. A think-et sose teheted folyamatos jelenbe, maximum ha think about sg, azaz gondolkodik vmin. Írd inkább úgy, hogy She was thinking about the things: ...
* People said: ’Diana was as beautiful as a fairy tale. She was a perfect woman.She is so helpful, she helped to an old man to go into the chapel. ’ --> ismét függő beszéd: People said Diana had been as beautiful as a fairy tail, she had been a perfect woman, she had been so helpful, she had helped to an old man to go into the chapel.
* Then came the honeymoon ont he Britannia --> Then came the honeymoon in Britain. Már ha ezt akartad mondani, hogy britanniában votl, és figyelj a helyesírásra!: )
* They had born a son, called William Arthur Philip Louise. He was born in 1981. 21th June. -> Ez így elég fura hogy they had born a son. Legyen inkább úgy, hogy Their son was born in 1981, he was called William Arthur Philip.
Gyorsan átfutottam most csak, ezek voltak a legszembetűnőbb hibák, remélem tudtam segíteni kicsit legalább! :)
válasza:Nagyon szépen köszönöm a válaszodat (:
"Then came the honeymoon on the Britannia"- ez a hajó neve, szóval akkor így értelmes?
válasza:it was shown on the tv in 58 countries!
Ez értelmes?
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