Anyanyelvi szintű angolosok, az alábbi esszé nyelvtanilag és nyelvhelyességileg jó? TOEFL nyelvvizsgára készülök, de nem tudom, hogy hogy állok az írás résszel.

Feladat: Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. (min. 300 karakter, 30 perc)

When a bird leaves the nest

Independence is something the most of us desperately wishes for in our teenage years. Not so much later - just once it has came to us - many of us desperately wishes to have less of it. Of course we rarely go back to be dependant on our parents again, but would we, if we could?

I have experienced the wanting-to-grow-up-way-too-fast phase myself too. I did get out of the nest as soon as I passed 18, and moved to the capital of my home country to study in university. Soon enough I held a job next to my studies, which more or less provided me the financial background to stand on my own - and I wasn't even out of university yet. To answer the question I asked in the beginning: no, I would not go back to be dependent of my family again - but if I could start over, I would not rush indepence so much.

I think if you are lucky enough not to be forced to get independent as soon as possible, you should enjoy the comfort of your family home just a little while longer than it is absolutely necessary. The next time you will be able to afford the quality of life your parents probably already have, long years can pass. And until then, many cold pizzas will be consumed as nutritios breakfasts, many holed socks will be mended instead of being thrown away, and many opportunities of fun will be missed because of a short budget.

My best reason behind staying at home a little while longer is that you should not make your life unnecessary harder just to prove a point - after all, you will have a lifetime of independence to prove your success to everybody. When not worried on paying rents and earning dinner money, you have more time to focus on your studies and extra activities that may help you later. You will not have to split your attention between shifts of jobs, exams and landlords. This is the time of your life that you can make the best out of: you are still young, but you can already make your own decisions, you can prepare for the real life out there and spend as much time with your family as you want.

Let's not forget though that many of us don't have such a choice to make: some of us will have to support their family as soon as they come of age. If you ever doubt your decision to stay at home a little longer, just ask them, what would they choose... if they could?