Levél helyesírását kéne leellenőrizni egy hozzáértőnek?

Az volt a feladat, hogy írjak egy válasz levelet erre :

Dear Terry,

I have a problem and i want your advice, I'm having trouble with my new flatmate. He keeps playing loud music and inviting loads of his friends over to the flat.

I've been trying to study for my exams and it's almost impossible for me to concentrate. I've been going to the library to get some peace and quiet. But when I get back, he has the music on and his friends are still there.

Last week, one of the neighbours came round to complain. I had to open the door because my flatmate couldn't hear the doorbell ringing, of course. The neighbour was very annoyed and said that if the noise continued, she would call the police. When I told my flatmate, he turned off the music that night but he put it back on again the next day.

What do you think I should do ? I'd be really grateful for your advice.

Best wishes,

Victor

Kaptam segítséget és így összejött ez a válasz levél :

Dear Victor,

thank you very much for your letter. It was lovely to hear from you. In your letter you said you weren't sure what to do with your flatmate. I'll try to help you.

Firstly in my opinion you should discuss it with your flatmate, because if she won’t make a change in it, the policeman is going to inflict a serious punishment on her, and it wouldn’t be good.

Secondly if she will not take your’s advice, you should move into another dig, because the school is the first in the lifetime.

I hope I could help you. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

Terry

Az utóbbi levelet kéne átnéznie egy jó angolosnak, és megköszönném ha kijavítaná a szóbeli és nyelvtani hibákat átírná.

Köszönet előre is !