Helyes így az angol fogalmazásom?

Par nyelvtani pontatlansag volt benne azt kijavitottam. Par helyen a mondatokba is belejavitottam, de jo volt amugy. Fogalmazasban nem irunk olyat hogy it's, don't, wouldn't, stb., tessek szepen kiirni hogy it is, do not, etc.

Indifference. This is how I can describe our lives. Everything would be perfect if we cared more about each other. I remember when I was a child, I was sitting at the window and watched the people. I thought that the world is a perfect place. But I grew up and when I look around I see the world as it really is. Greed controls people. We always want more and more and we do not notice the important things like love. In fact we do not care about others, only our happines. I think it is sad. We should learn that the more we look for happines the bigger the chance of losing it.